♥Le journal d'une fille extraordinaire

Every ending leads to a new beginning

2011-04-04T01:55:00.010+08:00

Good tidings! After much contemplation, I've finally decided on constructing a new site! Click here

 to visit. Be noted that future posts will be updated at my new site! With so much that is happening in life, I've realised the importance of blogging as a reference of what has changed with time. Looking back through my archives in this blog, it has indeed been proven that what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. Ah, then again, c'est la vie! We are high at one point and down at the other. Ultimately, we know that life is not always like a bowl of cherries. But that should never stop us from  believing in the good things :)

Hope all is doing well.

Accelerated

2011-03-26T20:03:00.005+08:00

Everything is at its fastest pace and I try to make an effort to embrace the changes that comes along the way. The busyness of my weekdays and weekends gets to the point where I really can't think about anything else apart from the pending assignments. I eat, sleep and breathe microecons/marketing/management. Then with them handed in, I'll have to move on to studying for the mid-trimester test and accounting assignment. And as I've emphasised so many times to my friends, it is really IB all over again. Maybe a little bit tougher and intense?

And I've finally made up my mind to purchase my own domain so that blogging can be more personal. But I still can't decide on what to name it and how to get started on the design... So maybe I'll give my creative mind some time before introducing the ultimate blog of mine. I really can't wait to be able to do what I love.

With love from Melbourne!

Changes in life

2011-03-12T09:14:00.004+08:00

Good day! It's a little too sunny outside for autumn today so I've decided to finish off some of the things I've been wanting to do but never got around doing. The past weeks were so hectic and everything happened so fast it's bizarre that I've actually moved out of Southeast Asia. I am really ready for something new and Melbourne has definitely been that.

When friends ask how life is like here I can't quite decide what to say. Maybe because I'm afraid I might change my indecisive mind after a while. But so far, life's incredible. I love exploring every single place and the fact that one can go fashionably crazy and nobody cares. Ah and even if the weather can be a little mad, the low humidity here makes it favourable.

My heart races a little each time I think about being independent and living all by myself. It's frightening and exciting at the same time. Time seems to tick away so quickly but I can see myself settling down well and I want to make sure that I make the most out of living in Melbourne.

I feel so inspired living in this city. I want to make little changes in my life and balance everything out. I can't help it but I really have some crazy things in mind. But of course, grades would be priority. Which reminds me of my assignments which I really really have to tend to now. I really want to manage everything well so I don't stress out in the and find that I'm burning the candles at both ends.

So happy Autumn Australia! I'm so ready for what this season has to offer. I'll be blogging sooner than soon.

Life is a truly big canvas!

2011-01-27T23:37:00.006+08:00

Isn't it hard to decide on which University to attend? I can't help but to stress over this matter. There's so many factors to consider and just when you have finally made a decision and thought that it's the final stage of accepting the offer, there had to be a hindrance. Ah, sometimes I find that as we struggle to make sense of things, like looks on in repose. Well, I humbly hope that whichever choice I take next, will be the best for me.

Apart from university applications, I guess life has been treating me well. But I try not to overrate anything I receive because I've this perception that when we think that everything is okay, we must have overlooked something. Oh well, maybe it's just me.

I really miss blogging and I want to revamp this blog as soon as I settle my university applications! I hope to have a blog which portrays my character and life close to how I see it through my eyes so... keep posted for that!

P.S I think she's one talented pixie

Ring out the old, Ring in the new

2011-01-03T00:32:00.006+08:00

The New Year is always so full of promises, though I did get a fair share of tough times during the year 2010. It had been a rough year with many life lessons embedded to it, and I believe some incidences will be remembered for the rest of my life because I've lost someone so fast and unexpectedly, I could never imagine how I managed to accept it. It was truly a big year for me but over time I realized that with each progressing year, I grow to be more independent, confident, experienced and wise. I guess that’s the gift of each New Year.

But true enough; experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him. So make sure you learn from your past mistakes! At the same time, I think a wise thing to do would be to learn all you can from the mistakes of others. You won’t have time to make them all yourself. Not that you would want to anyway.

And as everyone would have figured out, nothing is ever perfect. The way I pulled off the year 2010 was having the mindset that I’ve got to embrace the imperfections and be grateful for the things that did happened and those which did not. I could moan and fret about how unfair life is, but what more could it do than worsen the situation?

Apart from being strong and fighting through the obstacles life throws at me, I have to really say that I’m blessed with loving people who have stood by me and supported me when I am at my lowest. And as the saying goes, it’s not only about whom you’ve known the longest; it is who came and never left your side.

And as we reminisce about the past, and gear up for the new year, we have to know one important thing about time is that you cannot stop it. There is no way to slow it down, turn it off or adjust it. Time marches on and you cannot bring back time. Once it is gone, it is gone. Yesterday is lost, tomorrow is uncertain. We may look ahead at a full year's block of time, but we really have no guarantee that we will experience any of it.

The new year is full of time. As the seconds tick away, will you be tossing time out of the window or will you make every minute count?

Here’s to unfolding new horizons and realizing new dreams, to rediscovering the strength and faith within you and to rejoin in simple pleasures and gear up for new challenges. Cheers to a happy, new year

Best wishes.

2010-11-13T00:41:00.001+08:00

'Venus is the planet of love and desire. She is in charge of romance and beauty. But Venus isn't only about physical love; she's also symbolic of the ideal love. When we see a beautiful painting or other work or art, Venus is present. She is the beauty of a rose as much as she is the attraction we have to someone we love. As the key planet of Taurus, Venus is sensual and simple. We fulfill the senses with beauty and life is good.'

L'amour

2010-10-15T23:35:00.003+08:00

"It's not enough to believe! Don't you see that, you stupid girl? You could spend your whole life hoping and believing! If a love affair is one-sided, then it's only ever a question, never an answer. You can't live your life waiting for an answer."

If we switched roles, would the rules still apply?

2010-10-04T19:59:00.005+08:00

Like a boy; Ciara

Speaking of being underrated... I think Ciara deserve more attention from the media. Well, apart from the fact that she has way too much of 'Beyonce' in her videos, she IS something isn't she? Look at those moves

I'm pretty aware it's an old song but I only had the chance to watch the video today and thought it's worth the watch.

Wish we could switch up the roles

And I could be that...

Tell you I love you

But when you call I never get back

Would you ask them questions like me?...

Like where you be at?

Cause I'm out 4 in the morning

On the corner rolling

Doing my own thing

If I played you...

Would yo like that?

Had friends...

Would you like that?

never call?

Would you like that?

Hell naw

You wouldn't like that

No!

All that is gold does not glitter

2010-09-24T13:02:00.006+08:00

"Love is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise. If love were only a feeling, there would be no basis for the promise to love each other forever. A feeling comes and it may go. How can I judge that it will stay forever, when myact does not involve judgment and decision."

♥

For the love of cooking ♡

2010-09-11T17:27:00.010+08:00

Most people who love to cook can trace their passion back to a formative experience or a friend or relative who instilled in them a culinary passion. Personally, the joy that cooking brings to me is the satisfaction I feel when I've successfully cooked something that I previously thought would be too complicated for a person like my age. Each time I try out a new recipe, I'd feel like I'm ahead of a game.

My love for delectable food would also have led to my passion for cooking. It is what drives me... to be able to cook something of taste and flavour according to the way I like them to be. That way, I can never have the excuse to complain/criticize if the dishes are not cooked the way I imagined them to be. That way... I can never have to worry about what's served on the table that's not to my liking. I think it's more of a win-win situation, isn't it?

However, it is not simply the food I'm after. I actually love the process of making a meal. The gurgling of a rolling boil... pasta thrown into the water... the heady fragrance of sautéing garlic and herbs. It's a sure-fire ecstasy for the sense of smell. Cooking is really an exploration of taste and technique. People who love to cook would not mind going the extra mile to have the best meal served. The planning, purchasing and cooking takes up an enormous amount of my time but I don't resent it. It is a daily pleasure... a break from all the other things I'm bound to do.

Whenever I do my groceries, I can't help but to be amazed at the variety of fresh fish, meat and poultry they have. I would then imagine what I'd do with it if I had the skills... I'd start having flashbacks in my head of different types of food served in restaurants which I've visited and those I liked...and try correlating them with what's infront of me... figuring out how I'd cook it from scratch. Then if I am somewhat convinced that I will be able to find a suitable recipe that I could follow, I'd pick the fish/meat/poultry and head to the cashier. If not, I'd have to come back some other time... when I've better confidence and skills... But when the latter happens, I tell myself my skills had got to catch up with my tastebuds.

That being said, I also love the feeling whenever I bake. To be covered with the smell of butter, vanilla and chocolate seems to be the sort of life I'd live for.

Yet the best part of both cooking and baking is when someone compliments and enjoys your cooking/hard work. It is a true blessing that I have very supportive people with me so I won't have to worry that no one is going to appreciate the hard work and time I've put in. The feeling of being appreciated makes the extra effort worthwhile.

Imagine being able to bake a crispy apple pie or warm fudge cake when you're having a movie's night with your family? Or being able to just make breakfast for your family before your husband goes off to work and kids... to school? It might be a little... far ahead but I love having that vision in my head... being able to make lemonades, bake cookies, bake chicken pies and to have my family enjoy them during our family time. I don't want a house to be... simply a house. I would wish to make it a home. Someone who can cook is like a sorceress, they dispense happiness.

Despite my love for cooking and baking, and how much I want to pursue a course in culinary and patisserie, I am quite aware that I have other responsibilities which I have to attend to i.e, university. With basic ground rules set by my mom, I'd have to consider a course only after university which I am completely ok with. There's a fine line with something being a hobby and something you consider as your future career. For me, cooking&baking will remain as the icing of every thing else I've to do now. After all, learning a skill or two for our future is always beneficial.

"No man succeeds without a good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed."

Ending off the lengthy post! Xo, Shirly

World's most coveted handbag

2010-09-08T10:56:00.028+08:00

Had to get my hands on this novel on the world's most coveted handbag. It is amazing how the author chose to spill the beans on his life being a Birkin Reseller, living on the commissions he earn and having the book published. In other words, it would be the end of his Birkin reselling business as Hermes would have found out his 'exquisite job'

'Tonello starts off by recounting his sudden move from Massachusetts to Barcelona. What started off as a way to make some quick money eventually becomes an incredibly lucrative career when Michael cracks the formula for purchasing a Birkin without having to put his name on the dreaded two year waiting list. Along the way, he meets a couple of mentors, women with very expensive Birkin addictions (one character purchases multiple crocodile Birkins at a time), and some unsavory characters.' (La Dolce Vita)

For more than twenty years, the Hermes Birkin bag has been the iconic symbol of fashion, luxury and wealth. Though the bag is often seen dangling from the arms of celebrities, there is a fabled waiting list of more than 2 years to buy one from Hermes, and the average fashionista has a better chance of climbing Mount Everest in Prada pumps than of possessing one of these coveted carryalls.

The pricey status bag known as the Birkin is sold in limited numbers, much to the chagrin of wealthy style mavens and their over-extended sisters around the world. The bag is often seen adorning the arm of celebrities such as Victoria Beckham, Oprah Winfrey and Katie Holmes. Designed by breathy French singer Jane Birkin and Hermès president Jean-Louis Dumas-Hermès in the mid-1980s, the oversize purse has enjoyed a 20-plus-year run as an almost unobtainable cult fashion phenomenon.

Someone walks into Hermès, asks for a Birkin, and is told 'I'm sorry. We don't have any. There's a two-year waiting list.' Meanwhile, there is someone else in the store buying a dress, diamond studded earrings, or a pair of shoes and a wristwatch (which obviously cost more than the bag itself). They are pulled aside by a salesperson and told 'A client ordered a Birkin bag two years ago, and her bag has come in. She chose not to buy the bag. Would you be interested in seeing it?' Of course that woman is going to say yes.

"It's the ultimate handcrafted handbag that's free of logos," he says. "But it's identifiable to those in the know. It's the antithesis of an 'it' bag, and that's why I think it's remained sought after for so long. It's not susceptible to trends the way a lot of handbags are."

http://www.bringinghomethebirkin.com/

"Mystical is a good word to describe them. Most people have never seen the bags in person. It's this magical, unobtainable piece of luxury that women dream of owning. When I bring a Birkin to an event, women go crazy over it. It gets more attention than a newborn baby." -Michael Tonello

Is distance a problem? Apple says don't worry

2010-09-02T10:51:00.012+08:00

The new Ipod touch; the best invention yet. Ipod touch now has FaceTime. which means video call on-the-go. i mean yes you still can't physically be together but hey... isn't this bizarre? you can almost feel like you're experiencing whatever the other person at the other part of the world is! if distance is a problem then i suppose it shouldn't be anymore! Everyone can video call anytime of the day and possibly anywhere they are! I really love how Apple has no limits. They make all the impossible...possible.

I know it comes on Iphone4 but FaceTime is now on Ipod touch too. Which is a pretty good thing because I wouldn't really trade my blackberry for an Iphone4 now so an Ipod touch would suffice to cover my other needs which a blackberry can't... like video calling, HD video and music.

of course we shouldn't forget... FaceTime is limited to Wi-Fi which might make us contemplate about heading the stores to purchase it. Otherwise, I wouldn't have had second thoughts.

"The front camera has been tuned for FaceTime. It has just the right field of view and focal length to focus on your face at arm’s length. So it always presents you in the best possible light. Which is particularly handy when you’re talking to someone who’s more than just a friend."

http://www.apple.com/sg/ipodtouch/features/facetime.html

seize the opportunity

2010-08-31T00:54:00.007+08:00

When will I start giving it a head start and finally stride towards my goal of winning the game? I keep telling myself I've got time and everything can wait but fact is, I don't and it CANNOT wait. It's either now or never. It dawned upon me that if I don't take action now, who will? After all, in the game of life, you don't have two or more players in one team when you're striving for success. You are alone.

Needless to say, there will be people who is there for your when things don't work out as you've expected... they give you comfort and shower you with love... but no matter what, you can't run away from the fact that... the ability to triumph begins with you. Always.

Some people dream of success... while others wake up and work hard at it. I WANT to be the latter.

all the best with your future endeavors, readers :)

light-sleeper

2010-08-25T16:25:00.011+08:00

Dear bloggers!

Hope things are going exceptionally well for all. I am currently back in the little red dot and I don't really know what exactly is happening but I think it has been by far the best holiday ever. I mean the whole of the post-ib thing is rewarding... even if I'm not particularly sure I deserve all these great things which are happening to me.

Life has been much more of a ... wake up-eat-nap-eat-shop-eat-sleep kind of thing all along and i think it's probably time to get myself back on track!

Talking about yesterday, I had a really rough night. No one's to blame though because I am, and i have to bold this, a light sleeper. It gets really hard to fall asleep when there's any noise or light visible. See, the trouble with noise isn't really the loudness, but suddenness... any background noise makes it hard for me. Not to exaggerate my condition but even the red notification light from my blackberry disrupts my sleep. Minor things like that affect me greatly... so I was really at my wit's end when I had someone sleepover who snores. I can't exactly remember what time I fell asleep, but the last time I glanced over the clock, it showed... 4.30a.m.

Being a light sleeper is kind of a bad thing for me because I don't want to be someone who gets grumpy over my siblings/friends/cousins when I have to share a room with them because seriously whatever they are doing is actually normal... I am the only one being abnormal. At the same time, when i don't get the kind of sleep i want, it frustrates me... so most times, I end up being bossy and telling them to stop whatever they are doing.

But on the brighter side, nothing is impossible. We can actually stop people from snoring by giving them an anti snoring pillow. Well at least that's what I've researched. And if that doesn't work, we can give earplugs a try. For the lights? Get a sleep mask!

So next time, when I find myself in a situation whereby I'd have to share a room with someone, I can tell myself to be cool about it because there is always a way out... (i hope!)

much love!

sing to me shalalala

2010-07-30T12:41:00.004+08:00

Bonjour tout le monde!

Can you believe that it's already coming to the end of July? They say time flies when we're having fun. Well, I have no doubts that it does.

My post-IB life is treating me well. Not that everything is perfect but I just want to stay optimistic about life and have gratitude. I'm learning to take things as it is, to live in the present, amend mistakes and be a better person as a whole.

Summer in Paris was indeed a terrific experience and I wouldn't mind going back to romantic Paris anytime soon. I've never been treated to a better shopping experience! I must say nothing beats Paris' shopping paradise. Apart from the fact that Parisians can get quite rude at times, I have no other complaints about my trip. What could have been better than roaming around Paris and doing our shopping without having to do it with a tour? Thank you momma for this wonderful vacation :)

and for now, it still feels good to be back home to my hometown and meeting the people I love most. I'm having a hard time trying to upload photos on my post so next time I'll write in more + the photos (:

Have a wonderful week ahead!

Bisous!

PARIS, je ne puex pas attendre ♡

2010-06-27T11:04:00.003+08:00

it's finally the twenty-seventh of June so I'll be leaving tonight to this place where it is famously known as the city of lights. So thrilled because I've never been to this part of the world and it has always been one of my wildest dreams to be able to visit the Parisians' home♡

Surprising enough, mom and I managed to get our Visas approved. Not that the approved part was surprising... it was the fact that we did it all by ourselves! The whole process of getting the forms filled and compiling the sufficient documents was not easy but surely worth the time and effort!

I wonder what this experience would be like. It's been quite some time since mom and I last travelled. Sad thing is, my brother and sister aren't coming with us together since they're all caught up with other important things.

Leaving tonight at 11.40pm for Paris and we will be taking the SIA A380!

Signing off now

Bisous!

2010-06-27T10:55:00.001+08:00

FISHEYE 2

2010-06-23T14:45:00.009+08:00

after what seemed like eternity i finally had the chance to get my films processed! since Calvin's back to Indo, we kind of played around with the quirky camera he gave me for my birthday. they didn't turn out as what I expected. I think it's time I get my hands on the manual book or start googling for fisheye 2 tips on taking better pictures with this cute lomo fisheye.

i was using ISO 200 for the photos, i think maybe i should get the 400 or maybe try the 100?frankly speaking, i have no clue how get this camera to work at its best! my curiosity is overwhelming me

any tips would be greatly appreciated so please do drop comments if you have fairly good knowledge on the fish eye 2!

much love

formspring newbie

2010-06-22T11:43:00.003+08:00

Here's a little something I recently picked up. Maybe with this cute little ask and answer page, I can somehow enhance my thinking and answering skills. Asides from that, maybe this can sprinkle some fun into my life. I know it's a little late to be making an account, but since it's such an in thing right now, might as well try it.

So, mind bombarding me with questions?

http://www.formspring.me//shirlyhardjono

bisous,

Shirly

2010-05-31T17:10:00.006+08:00

i've been wanting a new camera to replace my 450d so badly that mom had to threaten me during my exams that if i speak a word more of buying a new camera before i finish exams, she would never get me one. well, i'm thrilled that exams are officially over for this round.

so here's the modish and sakura pink gadget. not only is its appearance stunning, wait till you have your hands to it and start clicking away to find the amazing qualities this gadget acquire.

life after IB is particularly pleasing. i've truly forgotten the last time I had to think about work/revision so i think that's something to be delighted about. apart from the fact that packing and moving into a new place has got to be one of the worst chores... everything's beyond compare. speaking of moving into a new place, i'm glad we're finally moving into our own home downtown which has been waiting for us for the past few years and not some other place we rented.

for the past eight years in Singapore, i've been moving from the east to the west just so that i could be at a walking distance to school. come to think about it, i've been to three different schools in singapore and every single time, no matter how hard, mom would always find a nice place close to school so that it would be convenient for me. now that high school is over, mom decided to settle down to our own place which explains the days spent for packing. i shouldn't be complaining though, i know mom is doing everything just so i can have the best. thank you mom<3

i hope our paris visas will be issued this week so i can go back to my hometown. I miss Indo's spicy food and i miss spoiling myself. not to be a bimbo, but after 5 months, i think it's normal to miss those rituals we have when we are back to our own hometown.

despite being happy that everything isn't as hectic as school days, i'm pretty terrified at the thought of my future plans. it's not as clear so i've got to do something about it before time ticks away too fast and i find myself regretting not having done some things i have to. i hope i get my plans sorted out well.

bunch of love xoxo

i know life's not a fairytale
and a happy ending isn't as simple as it may seem
but believe me,
believe me,
everyone needs someone

The Last Song

2010-05-22T21:35:00.013+08:00

click play for 'When I look at you' by Miley Cyrus which is based on the movie. I don't personally idolize Miley Cyrus but I am convinced this is one of the better love songs I've listened this year. I'm guessing this might be due to the reason that I've really enjoyed the movie... and the song kind of gave me flashbacks of it. so...

Yet again, the movie is adapted from a novel by Nicholas Sparks which we all expected to be good. The actors might have disappoint us a little but overall, I think it's a fairly good movie.

"The tale that unfolds is an unforgettable story about love in its myriad forms - first love, the love between parents and children - that demonstrates, as only a Nicholas Sparks novel can, the many ways that deeply felt relationships can break our hearts ...and heal them."

cause there's no guarantee, that this love is easy.

life is a journey not a destination

2010-05-17T18:47:00.005+08:00

another week to go and i'm hoping life will get better then. not that i'm expecting life should be perfect or anything near that, but being better would already be acceptable. It's been y e a r s since i've truly lived a day without doing work. even when i manage to find some free time during my course of IB, i feel anxious about it because no one is supposed to have free time in IB. and i mean it. someone doing IB would know what i mean.

so hopefully, in a week's time i can spend the day doing nothing and not feel guilty about it. i can't wait to have a break from all these.

till then xoxo

and here's a photo from friday 14th May;

they call us; t.h.e d.y.n.a.m.i.c d.u.o

♡

2010-05-13T10:51:00.001+08:00

tell me you're my true friend and i'll leave a place in my heart just for you you you

2010-05-13T10:21:00.009+08:00

so here's a little something from again, my friend who's always giving me on life's advices. well, we can't really judge who is a good or bad friend but i'm sure there's certain things we look out for to justify why this particular person is indeed a true friend or the complete opposite.

so happy reading! ;

So, okay there are four types of people who should be known as enemies disguised as friends: the greedy person, who speaks but does not act, the flatterer and the squanderer. The greedy person is an enemy disguised as a friend for four reasons. He is greedy; he gives little and asks much; if he does what he should, it is only out of fear; and he pursues his own interests only. He who speaks but does not act is an enemy disguised as friend for four reasons. He reminds you of the good done on your behalf in the past; he talks of good he will do on your behalf in the future; he tries to win your favour with empty words; when the opportunity to help arises, he pleads helplessness. The flatterer is an enemy disguised as a friend for four reasons. He encourages you to do wrong; he discourages you from doing right; he praises you to your face and speaks ill of you behind your back. The squanderer is an enemy disguised as a friend for four reasons also. He is your companion when you drink, when you frequent the streets at untimely hours, when you haunt low shows and fairs, and he is your companion when you gamble.

A friend who always wants to take,
A friend who says but doesn't do,
A friend who use flattering words,
A friend who joins you in the wrong -

These four friends are really foes,
And one who is wise, having understood this,
Will avoid them from afar,
As if they were a dangerous road.

Then there are four kinds of stout-hearted people who should be known as true friends: the helper, the friend in both good and bad times, one who gives good counsel, and one who sympathizes. The helper is a true friend for four reasons. He guards you when you are off your guard; he guards your property when you are off your guard; he comforts you when you are afraid; and when something has to be done, he gives you twice what you require. The friend in both good times and bad is a true friend for four reasons. He tells you his secrets; he keeps the secrets you tell him; in trouble he does not forsake you; he would even lay down his life for you. The friend who gives good counsel is a true friend for four reasons. He discourages you from doing wrong, he encourages you to do good, he tells you things you have not heard, and he points out the way to heaven. The friend who sympathizes is a true friend for four reasons. He is sad at your misfortunes, he rejoices at your good fortune, he restrains others from speaking ill of you, and he commends those who speak well of you.

A friend who always lends a hand,
A friend in both sorrow and joy,
A friend who offers good counsel,
And a friend who sympathizes too -

These are the four kinds of true friends,
And one who is wise, having understood this,
Will always cherish and serve such friends,
Just as a mother tends her only child.

isn't this a rather good read? I thought it was and thus this post. I guess it's pretty important for us to make sure we know which of our friends are which because at the end of the day when darkness sets in, it's only our true good friends who'll stay by our side telling us to do what's right and what's not. Don't you think?

"If a man does not make new acquaintance as he advances through life, he will soon find himself left alone. A man, Sir, should keep his friendship in constant repair."

summertime ✿

2010-05-12T19:44:00.013+08:00

i guess summer is the season many around the world are looking forward to. the word summer afternoon is probably the most beautiful words in the English language. i feel that summer's always the season filled with magic. like, things happen during summer which do not, on the other three seasons. furthermore, being in Singapore where there are no seasons and the sun's always up, i think summer is the best time to swipe the credit cards and have fun with adding bright, fun apparels into your collection.

so here's some of the trends this summer 2010 and i'm sure all of you can't wait to do some shopping and start strutting your way! so here's some tips perhaps to kill your curiosity on what's in and what's not.

source; http://www.fashionising.com/trends/

hotpants;

jumpsuits;

boyfriend's blazer;

high dress splits;

my summer? i can't wait to see what's waiting for me. i just hope for the best because as i see the way things are now, it's not going exactly the way i expect it to be. here's sth i received from someone today;

"what people expect to happen, is often different from what actually happens. Thus does disappointment arise. This is the way the world works. "

so well, be grateful. after all, life has its flaws. it's not the end of the world. pick yourself and learn from disappointments. make sure it's a worthwhile learning experience. well, i have to learn how to do so too, so let's do it together :)

xoxo
You could travel the world
But nothing comes close
To the golden coast
Once you party with us
You'll be falling in love
Oooooh Oh Oooooh

California girls
We're unforgettable
Daisy Dukes
Bikinis on top
Sun-kissed skin
So hot
Will melt your popsicle
Oooooh Oh Oooooh

Our truest life is when we are in our dreams awake

2010-05-11T21:23:00.007+08:00

eleventh of may (:

Bonne Anniversaire, Calvin Thamrin ★

Here's a little dedication to you since Melbourne is a little far for me to travel to give you a birthday cake so i hope this will make up for the absence (:

Remember, no matter what life holds in store for you, just as Peter Parker once said in Spiderman,

"With great power, comes great responsibilities"

and as they say, men are like wine. some turn to vinegar but the best improve with age. All the best in self improvement. I'm sure you'll enjoy, learn and achieve greater things in the future.

;) warm wishes!

Strut your way in style, little miss fashion♡

2010-05-08T12:30:00.034+08:00

Barbie's fashion show

Chanel

i've always thought bright pink lipstick like this is so catchy. can't wait till i graduate and walk around w this lip color ;)

Quitted classic flap bag with Chanel signature turnlock and interlaced chain embellished with silk layers and fabric flowers;

Victoria Beckham and her Hermès collection

Sarah Jessica Parker

Evening Backless dress

Serena Van der Woodsen and her burberry blazer

Christian Louboutin's

"Always act like you're wearing an invisible crown, I do."

-Paris Hilton

first week of exams!

2010-05-07T23:05:00.005+08:00

So I'm done with the first week of exams and I already feel so tired & worn out. No big deal you say? Try having four consequently sleepless nights and tell me if it's no biggy. Actually I shouldn't really complain because IF I actually compelled myself to constantly study throughout the 2 years of the IB program, I wouldn't find it such a hurdle now. So I'm blaming nobody but myself. It's pointless to regret now... unless well, I tell myself I'll have to change the way I prioritize my studies in university? Please pray that I'll get this lesson stuck in my head so in university I'll be a really organised, prepared and diligent freshman ( I've got a feeling I always say 'OK i'll study extremely hard the next round' after an exam then... the cycle repeats itself...) I have to do something about this attitude of mine! University will be a fresh start so we'll wait and see how things end up.

I'm done with English paper 1, Both papers for Mathematics and Geography so I've got English paper 2 , Both papers for Biology, Chinese and French. Way to go! It's quite a number left but at least it wouldn't be any where as hectic as the first week. I constantly feel drowsy because I sleep at around two in the morning and then set my alarm at like five thirty so i can do a last scan through my notes.

So today as a short little break from the intense revision I've been doing the past week, I decided I shall finally blog about fashion since my posts has never been on anything else but life life life and emo emo emo. I've always wanted to share a little on my fashion taste to everyone but never got around to doing it due to bad time management issues and the piling of work.

So wait for my next post perhaps? latest by tomorrow

bisous,

Shirly <3

this is it!

2010-05-03T23:30:00.005+08:00

INTERNATIONAL. BACCALAUREATE. EXAMS. SHALL. COMMENCE. IN

eighteenth birthday

2010-05-02T13:02:00.036+08:00

18th birthday cake

I remember wanting to be sixteen pretty badly, then well, seventeen was different because it’s like a pretty mature age without being an adult age. Today, I’ve lived eighteen vibrant years. I don’t know if it’s just me, but I think being eighteen allows you to feel just how much you’ve grown as a person physically and mentally. Its time to reflect on those changes you’ve always wanted to change but never got around to doing.

Apart from exams, and not being able to celebrate my birthday this year, I cannot begin to convey what the loss of my grandma felt like, or the many waves of grief that have rolled over me. My grandma was, and still is my hero. I was and always will be her beloved grand daughter. Every year of my life, I have grown so used to waking up and seeing her or knowing that by clicking the dial button would allow me to hear her voice. Today, that is different. What I have used to take granted for, is now forever gone. I feel remorse for so many things which I didn’t do for her when I could have but isn’t that abit too late now? Nothing’s going to change the way things are.

But honestly, my grandma’s death has given me the greatest wake up call. And each day, I’m learning more and more from the reality of life. I don’t think I would have felt the way I feel nor see life the way I’m seeing it now if I didn’t experience the loss of someone of such importance to me. I’m grateful that I’ve learnt this lesson at such an early age… so then I will be able to make amendments and allow myself to be a better person as a whole.

In most parts of the world, you are regarded as an adult when you turn eighteen. I suppose then it’s time to reflect on myself… to know what my goal in life is, to seek for what I’ve always been searching, to learn to accept things as they are, to learn from mistakes, to be more focused, to learn to forgive, to learn to love unconditionally, to learn to let go, to learn to be grateful each day, to learn to say thank you, to learn to appreciate people, to learn to be happy and most importantly to love your other half instead of complaining and demanding.

Here’s a quote I stumbled upon from Sophie Tucker.
“From birth to age eighteen, a girl needs good parents. From eighteen to thirty-five, she needs good looks. From thirty-five to fifty five, she needs a good personality. From fifty five on, she needs good cash”

I think there’s something major missing. It should say from eighteen to the rest of her life, a girl would need a loving husband. I don’t know if anyone thinks the same way as I do, but I believe that everyone needs someone after a long, tiring day from the harshness of life.

To end of this post, I want to remind myself how lucky I am to have so many people shower me with love, to have such loving family and best friends who is there for me during my ups and downs. Without them, I won’t be who I am now. Without these people in my life to tell me to go on, I won’t be able to do so.

People come and go in our lives but there are few who stay and leave footprints. I know who they are and I’m smiling as I write this sentence. I know that when I’m down I have these people to turn to and their simple yet comforting messages to me make me happy.

My beloved grandma, my mom, my brother, my sister, my uncles, my relatives, UWCSEA friends (esp Kamern, Lily, Jessica, Elishea, Tomoka, Melanie, Rachel, Valerie), my childhood friends (Audrey, Chanapa and Zhao qin), Bedok View friends, best friends who have always been telling me to stay strong, Natasha Citra, Angelin Kartawinata, Sylvia Kartawinata. Also to Winny Adriany, Claudia Phankova, Stella Lowis, Monica Cuaca, Shelly Tan, Jessica Darmadi who are willing to support me even when we're not that close. my best high school girlfriends from Piaget (Christella, Dessy, Vivid, Vivi, Md) friends who kept supporting me through twitter, my piano tutor Miss Johanna, my godmother Lina and most importantly the two people who have always stood by my side no matter what; Winona Delany, Sherley Lueis. wish I didn't miss important people out from my list. Thank you for being there for me through hard times esp this year when I lost my grandma.

I understand that life is of course is not being on a bed of roses, but all of us deserve to be happy. And one little secret to that is, to be grateful. So, when you’re upset or down, reflect on yourself before blaming it to others. Just as Michael Jackson said, ‘If you want the world to be a better place, take a look at yourself, and make a change’

Here’s someone who, accompanied me through hours before my birthday. It was actually a total of five hours. Thank you for being a part of my life. you've shown me so many things. Thank you for everything and my birthday present despite you being in Australia, you still never fail to make me smile :) see you in July. Cross your heart?

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity…. It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.”

With love and gratefulness,

Shirly :)

shake me till i wake up from this bad dream

2010-04-29T20:36:00.009+08:00

every now and then I tell myself that life's changes are inevitable and no matter what happens, life goes on. isn't that the three common words which sums up life? it sounds so... simple and direct but seriously, it's always easier said than done.

i still miss my grandma and at times i wish someone could just shake me so i can wake up from this bad dream. Of course, reality then hits me even harder and i'm compelled to move on and accept that grandma's forever gone... well, physically, never mentally i promise. I can no longer pretend that life's a fairytale now, it isn't. My grandma's sudden death has taught me the harshness of reality. I could really use a dream or a genie, or a wish, to go back to a place simpler than this. I wish someone could just take me back to the days when I was a little more carefree.

but of course, as we embrace life's changes we learn a new thing or two and i feel that each experiences allow us to be a better person as a whole.

so what's currently happening to my life is that i'm eagerly and anxiously waiting for graduation which is on the 25th of May. Exams starts this tuesday and I am overwhelmed by the amount of revision I have to do... After two years of hardcore IB program, THIS IS finally it. One last shot and I'll be free for a few months to have some time for myself without books, essays, research papers, assessments, practicals and portfolios.

bonne chance for IB students taking examinations in May 2010 <3

bisous,

Shirly

Cause after all the partyin’ and smashin’ and crashin’
And all the glitz and the glam and the fashion
And all the pandemonium and all the madness
There comes a time where you fade to the blackness
And when you’re staring at that phone in your lap
And you hoping but them people never call you back
But that’s just how the story unfolds
You get another hand soon after you fold
And when your plans unravel
And they sayin’ what would you wish for
If you had one chance?

i am stuck w revision. h . e. l. p

our little secret to happiness♡

2010-04-24T20:52:00.006+08:00

"one of the most important elements of a happy life is the ability to be thankful for the good. This so-called secret of happiness is simple yet powerful. Being grateful. The key to happiness is to appreciate what you have. Or count your blessings. Yes, you can be happy by just being grateful."

Those who have gone through life's trials and tribulations, know the importance and power behind expressing heartfelt gratitude for the many blessings in life that are often times overlooked and taken for granted.

When you feel grateful for whatever you have now, you unlock powerful feelings of happiness and contentment that will empower you and enhances quality of life

The secret of happiness is learn to to appreciate and be grateful for what you already have. try to stay happy!

plenty of love,

♡

Gratitude

2010-04-13T23:40:00.008+08:00

1 Corinthians 13:13
"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

For in our daily lives, we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but the gratefulness that makes us happy

with plenty of love :)

I love you grandma

2010-04-05T18:29:00.011+08:00

I've always mentioned how uncertain and unpredictable life is, but honestly, I really never knew how absurd life could go, and how it is capable of pushing its limits to ways you can’t imagine.

I understand everyone wishes to comfort me by saying 'don't worry, she's in heaven. life goes on shirly'... but it’s always easier said than done. I can’t work it out on my head, it was the last thing I could have expected to happen, but yet, it did. What does this show about life? That life doesn’t come with answers like how they have it summarized at the back cover of novels?

This incident occurred without a forewarning, and it was surely unanticipated. It really left me dazed and vulnerable, trying to make sense out of the insensible loss. I had never experienced a loss of someone, let alone someone close, someone who meant the world to me. My beloved grandma left us on the 26^th of March, and despite the many advices and support I have from pastors, family, close family friends and best friends; I still find it unacceptable that grandma has left me for good. I feel outraged at the fact that something so meaningful to me was taken away so easily just because someone else has authority over my grandma’s life… I ask why this happened yet there will never be a good or satisfying answer, it’s the mystery of life and normal people like us will never be able to foresee things, and when things like this happen, all we are left to do is, to accept the way it is. Isn’t this unfair?

Everyone who came to grandma’s funeral told us that they would not believe that grandma passed away if they did not come to see it for themselves. Grandma was always in the pink of health… and as I type now, I realized, maybe she did get a little weaker the last time I saw her during Chinese New Year. I wish for a second chance, to hold her again, but… I suppose that is no longer possible.

I suppose what made it unbearable was the bond we had with our grandma. If only I am able to express my relationship with grandma in words, you'll feel that it was a little unfair for God to take her away at such short notice. I couldn't even say a proper goodbye or say I love you for the last time. And to watch her face turn blue, and whole body turn cold... was the most hurtful thing that could have ever happened. My heart still aches at the thought of seeing someone I love no longer able to hear or see me... let alone feel me...

My Grandma was a phenomenal woman, not only was she incredibly and deeply religious, but she incorporated Jesus' teachings into her everyday life by being charitable, forgiving, giving and humble. She was a light for everyone around her, with her kindness showing by her sheer popularity with the community around her.

If, only if I had a second chance to make things right, I would have never used the word 'wait'. I would have never gave excuses on how my assignments are taking all of my time that I couldn't even give grandma a call... I wish I could wind the clock back a little... or perhaps wake up from this frightful nightmare. I doubt the event all the time because the whole day was so traumatic and felt like a dream.

Yet my grandma's death has taught me to see life in a different perspective. Here's one thing I really wish I get this across to everyone reading my post.

One thing that I have learned is that you should never miss a chance to tell people that you love them. They can be taken from you in a blink of an eye. Don't put off until tomorrow what you do today. Don't wait until you are standing at the foot of their grave to honor them. Pick up the phone today and call them, just to say, "I love you."

I really miss my grandma... and I still wish... this was all a dream. I really... really wish to hold her once more. To whisper in her hears, 'I love you grandma' and kiss her on her soft rosy cheeks. I wish to wake up, smelling her coffee knowing that she'll be in the kitchen... What's left now are memories, which may fade after a while... but i'm sure to keep her close in my heart, forever.

... and as i end this post, i'll be honest with myself. I am still incapable of accepting the fact that my grandma's no longer here... I really... can't. Maybe... maybe this is all a dream?

Because now I am older I am able to see
God didn’t take you away from me
He just made you an angel with wings to fly
To look after all the children up in the sky

keeps your heads up up up and higher

2010-03-23T23:39:00.007+08:00

dear all,

i love all of you because you guys have been great telling me that everything is fine and that i have to be strong. I am very clear of that now, and I am trusting, that I will be okay.

Actually, nothing bad or disastrous really happened, it's just that sometimes, changes in life can get a little difficult and you get really upset about it. Every time a friend leaves to a different country, or when my brother leaves us for a few months, or when i know i've to be separated with someone i've so used to be with, i get really bummed at how things have to change...

I guess i'm a really emotional person to start with and i tend to think a lot about life... sometimes i even ask myself, when our family changes a maid, will i ever see her again in my life? or a taxi driver who have once talked to me during a ride... will i ever see him again? i think the chances are low, very indeed... life life life

To be honest though, I build all these walls around me telling myself that I am very strong but sometimes at night while I'm on my bed, these walls I've built starts tumbling down. The thought of ... this particular thing makes me cringe and squeeze my heart in pain. Yet sometimes, despite the fact that you don't want something to happen, it happens anyway. I am not capable of stopping things from happening. But with each fall, you slowly pick yourself up, and we learn a new thing or to, that's for sure.

i have to admit though that over time, i get too dependent on people; be it a guy, or a close friend, or my family, then when things changed i tend to think that i'm weak and i can't go on. but come to think of it, i've been a strong person all the while. I used to live alone, and when i moved into a new apartment, i am not afraid of sleeping at the new place. I get my passports, permanent resident, visa everything sorted out by myself. I buy my own food, do my own groceries, sort out universities stuff myself... I remembered those few months i've went through, i didn't really have someone to tell me everything is fine, well apart from my family and close friends. and guess what? i still did it anyways.

i love everyone who is in my life and i really want to be grateful with what i have :) everything happens for a reason that's for sure. Just learn from your mistakes, i believe there's always a new thing to learn everyday. and i don't mean academically. i mean... the real thing. as in life's lessons :)

if you think about it, compared to many many people, my life is not even hard. Many people has had a major loss in their lives, like a family member whom passed away, their husband, or wife, or their son or daughter. come to think of it, life really doesn't come with second chances. live it well. sometimes we lose our way, we really have to depend on God at times like this.

P.s: changes in life is hard to bear, but remember, happiness is the best beauty product. it can forget you for a while, but don't completely forget about it. ask yourself, what's the purpose of life? i think all of us deserve the best. just don't hurt anyone, treat other the way you want to be treated. and most importantly, don't break promises :)

plenty of love, :) and thanks for reading

oh and i saw the trending topic for twitter today and it was #dearmyfuturehusband, so here's mine :)

#dearmyfuturehusband:

'I know have my faults and you are expected to have yours as well. The beauty is that we will be able to accept each other's flaws regardless because of the love we will share. There will be times that we will fight. I know this because sometimes I am too stubborn. Despite being headstrong, I will always strive to put you first. Though at times I may fail, know that I will always work towards becoming a better person. I make mistakes but please instead of leaving me, please guide me to be a better person. Love me most when i deserve it least, because that's when i need it most.'

2010-03-23T13:29:00.006+08:00

Mario - How Do I Breathe
Uploaded by foxysoul. - See the latest featured music videos.How do I breathe, yeah?

[Verse:]
It feels so different being here,
I was so used to being next to you,
Life for me is not the same,
There's no one to turn to.
I don't know why I let it go too far,
Starting over - it's so hard.
Seems like everywhere I try to go,
I keep thinking of you.

[Hook:]
I just had a wake up call,
Wishing that I never let you fall,
Baby you are not to blame at all.
when I'm the one that pushed you away.
Baby if you knew I cared,
You'd have never went nowhere (nowhere),
Girl I should've been right there.

[Chorus:]
How do I breathe
Without you here by my side?
How will I see
When your love brought me to the light?
Where do I go
When your heart's where I lay my head?
When you're not with me,
How do I breathe?
How do I breathe?

[Verse:]
Girl I'm losin' my mind.
Yes I made a mistake.
I thought that you would be mine.
Guess the joke was on me.
I miss you so bad, I can't sleep.
I wish I knew where you could be.
Another dude is replacing me,
God this can't be happening.

2010-03-19T21:25:00.001+08:00

.............................

force that cannot be disturbed

2010-03-19T10:27:00.004+08:00

I don't want to be in this act anymore,

What's this pretending all about.

I want to be back to the old days

Where I don't have to think hard

I was happy,

I didn't have to worry

I didn't have my eyebrows etched together

I didn't have sleepless nights

I was always looking forward to a brand new day

Knowing if things were to fail,

I will always have my pillar of strength

to tell me it's all fine

Now, it's all about forcing myself

It's all about pretending that I have a smile that i don't

All about acting in an act I don't even want to be

I'm not happy :( But I try hard, really hard.

What's this about. It's beginning to get so complicated

It seems easy, but when you think about it,

if you focus on the present,

don't you realize it's taking our breaths away?

It's taking my energy too

I'm deprived of everything now.

Every night I rush to my bed

With hopes that maybe I'll get a chance to see you

When I close my eyes I'm going out of my head

Lost in a fairytale, can you hold my hands and be my guide?

):

2010-03-18T23:06:00.004+08:00

today i've learnt a lesson, which one cannot buy regardless of the amount of richness one possess.

i don't know how i've finally convinced myself... but i'm a little better after some assurance.

it's tough to get your head to focus on something else as it wanders,

but i'm doing all i can now. courage and strength i really need you now. please stay by my side

goodnight world.

Woke up this morning on the wrong side of bed

I got this feeling like a train's running through my head

Turned on my radio to the same old song

Some big mouth talking trying to tell us where the world went wrong

my heart almost skipped a beat

2010-03-18T19:03:00.005+08:00

what if,
one day you've made the biggest mistake of your life
and you wished you could rewind time
but you knew it was impossible.

your lips parted,
but no words came out.

you feel cold instantly,

you begged for warmth.

but your feet and hands gets even colder.

you screamed inside your head,
that you've got to let go,
but you weren't ready to.
because you know, this was more than everything you've wished for.

what if the only thing you wanted was...

a chance to make things right.

limits? aren't they man made.

aren't they adjustable...

you wished it was.

Reality is merely an illusion, although a very persistent one

2010-03-18T09:04:00.002+08:00

... and it's gonna take a miracle to bring this smile back.

c'est la vie

2010-03-11T20:10:00.012+08:00

bonjour tout le monde :)

As I begin typing, I doubt I will end up clicking 'publish post' because there has been too many cases where I simply write a lengthy post and end up clicking 'save now' and they never get published. Maybe because after each post I realized how personal things they were and it's not like I don't want to share it with people, but it's just that... I realize i should start to accept imperfections in life.

So where do I begin? School? IB to specific? well it's coming to the end of IB, i have about 3 weeks of high school left and then grade twelves will be having our study leave then exams start on the 4th of May. I don't really have much time left. Come to think of it, I can't believe how fast two years can be. I've been through so, so much from the past two years, and ultimately, I've realized that the most significant times of my life were not the moments I had a smooth flowing life, but the times when I fell and picked myself and to have the courage to re instill confidence in myself. Looking back at the last 2 years, I've witnessed myself and other people changing around me, maturing as they take on each recurring challenge which I suppose is part and parcel of life... At the turning of the years, I guess it will soon be the moment to embrace change, to live out the final spark of the candle.

Oh and can someone kindly tell me what's our purpose to live? I never seem to be able to find an answer. Maybe my age is the reason why? Maybe I'm too young? Yeah probably is.

I hate how I think so much but then you can't really blame me, no one can, because life is simply complicated?!

Well on the other hand, i feel grateful to have what i have right now, even things are not at its best, it could have gotten worse than this. and for that, i should be happy and grateful. 'Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful.'

I came across this quote while browsing the other day... "If you love someone, let them go. If they return to you, it was meant to be. If they don't, their love was never yours to begin with..." in other words, if something is meant to be, then it will. but if it isn't, no matter how hard you try, they will never be. easy to interpret, but it can never be too easy to slowly get that embedded in our minds. Maybe, maybe we shouldn't be over possessive... because it does no one good anyways

ah, life, you're such a wonder. every time i end a post, i don't know what i might write in the next. it's a mystery isn't it.

P.S graduation is on the May 25th 2010 :) <3

And Life is a road and I want to keep going

Love is a river I want to keep flowing

Life is a road now and forever

A Wonderful journey

I'll be there when the world stops turning

I'll be there when the storm is through

In the end I wanna be standing

At the beginning with you

We were strangers on a crazy adventure

Never dreaming how our dreams would come true

Now here we stand unafraid of the future

At the beginning with you

I knew there was somebody somewhere
Like me alone in the dark
I know that my dream will live on
I've been waiting so long
Nothing's gonna tear us apart

the way the cookie crumbles

2010-02-09T22:13:00.010+08:00

It dawned upon me that life as they say is really not being on a bed of roses. There are pitfalls where you have a really rough time, struggling to pick yourself up from where you fell. And to expect the world to treat you fairly because you’re a really nice person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you’re a vegetarian.

I guess nothing is, as what it seems. And you can’t really think you know everything because trust me, you end up regretting for the mistake you’ve did. Afterall, life is way too complicated for normal people like us to figure and I don’t we are expected to do so. All we have to do is simply live life to the fullest… but I really wonder how we actually do that. Do we seek for what we love? Or do we seek for what’s best for us in order to live life to the fullest? Or do we simply do anything we feel like doing and not bother about evaluating them? …

Sometimes I find myself wonder why I am doing the things I am doing, wonder why I am where I am… is it destined? I wish I was a stronger person as a whole, so I can embrace changes in life, so I can move on when I have to… I guess I will learn this as time goes.

Ah, I am a person with so much whys and whats and buts.

Anyway tomorrow will be my last school day of the week because I’ll be leaving to Indo in the evening. Ah a short short break before I start mugging again.

P.S i really miss my long hair ): and i can't wait to see someone!! ♥

God bless (:

-Do you know what's worth fighting for?
When it's not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away
And you feel yourself suffocating?

Does the pain weigh out the pride?
And you look for a place to hide?
Did someone break your heart inside?
You're in ruins

THIS IS LIFE

2010-02-03T21:58:00.004+08:00

what seemed like eternity is finally over, mocks that is :)

looking back i find it totally absurd that i'm actually graduating high school in less than 5 months. I mean, really, time went past so fast i couldn't quite remember what has or what hasn't happened.

and it's already the second month of the year 2010 and with valentine's on chinese new year i think this month ought to mean something. honestly, i've been looking forward to this month not only because of the festive season, but whom I'm going to spend it with

and to sum it up, January was hell for me... well i learnt we have to be expecting the unexpected sometimes.

and not like everything is great after mocks. no it doesn't get better at all. i have my real ib exams in 13 weeks, no kidding :(

Sometimes I feel like I want to shout and stop right on my tracks. But i know i can't, i know i have to push myself forward because when i fall in the future, no one is going to be there to pick me up... i cannot fail myself.

2010-01-08T21:18:00.001+08:00

i want to get rid of the insecurities i want to live like i didn't care bout nothing.

i want to live like i never did.

a merry christmas and happy new year's

2010-01-05T12:01:00.019+08:00

dear all,

unexpectedly i did go back to Indo over the xmas and new year's and i thought it was the best gift of the year. it wasn't really where i was which matter much, but who i was with. i think there wouldn't be another better way to end the year with someone whom you love and i think i was lucky enough to have you all by myself till the clock struck twelve on new year's eve. although in between each days we spent together, we have small internal conflicts. but then somehow we get back together and realize that we need each other even more than before.

as you all would have guessed, yes i'm back to singapore! i always get emotional once i get back to this place and thus this post. i feel that writing everything out makes me feel all better, especially sometimes i feel that no one can really solve things for you but yourself. so by writing, i kind of talk to myself and then i realize that it isn't that bad after all. a month to go and it's chinese new year's and i'll be seeing you for 2 days then i'll have to wait till june to see you again... hmm that doesn't good at all but i guess there's nothing i can do. it's back to waiting!

he's off to KL for a short trip and i miss him quite terribly. i've grown so intact with him that i think it's quite impossible to not talk or message him even for a day. i wish i could be a little stronger but then it will take a long time for me to learn that but i shall anyways.

mocks are really really near and i don't want to dwell on it. i just want to get it done and over with. it has been quite some time since i've really enjoyed my days... quite some time since i played with make up and accessories. i simply see no point for them now because of the amount of work and revision i have. but soon i guess. soon.

with much love

Well you are the one, the one that lies close to me.
Whispers "Hello, I've missed you quite terribly."
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly.
Now there's no place else I could be but here in your arms.

je t'aime toujours

2009-12-12T20:56:00.004+08:00

someday, someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked with anyone else.

being able to see you but not reach you kills me softly, but you keep me going anyhow. Christmas without you would be the greatest mistake of the year but it shall be my biggest sacrifice for my mocks in January. i don't really know what big difference it would make to be staying here to revise but i guess if that's what they've decided..

I often ask myself why I have grown so dependent on you, someone who I can't even guarantee that he would be there for me forever because nothing is forever, is it? But I find myself unable to take a step back and here i am, unable to pass a day without seeing you on my screen or a day without your voice... I've grown so used to having you every minute and seconds that I wouldn't even dare to think how it would be without you.

i hope these bad times pass quickly because i can't help but smile at the thought of running into your arms again.

for now... this shall keep me going :)

oh christmas!

2009-11-21T17:27:00.019+08:00

The wonders this festive season brings!

it's the time of the year again, and if you were to stroll down the candy-can facade of a suburban housing estate early on Christmas morning, you couldn't help but observe how the houses in all their tinseled glory are akin to the wrapped parcels that lie beneath the christmas trees within. For each holds their secrets inside. The temptation of poking and prodding at the packaging is the equivalent of peeping through a crack in the curtains to get a glimpse a family in Christmas morning action. a captured moment that's kept away from all prying eyes. For the outside world, in a calming yet eerie silence that exists only on this morning every year, homes stand shoulder to shoulder like painted toy soldiers, chests pushed out, stomachs tucked in, proud and protective all within

Houses on Christmas morning are treasure chests of hidden truths. A wreath on a door like a finger upon a lip; blinds down like closed eyelids. Then at some unspecific time, beyond the pulled blinds and drawn curtains, a warm glow will appear, the smallest hint of something happening inside. mmm

On xmas morning, an air of calm settles on the outside. The emptiness on the streets doesn't instill fear, in fact it has the opposite effect. It's a picture of safety and despite the seasonal chill, there's warmth. For varying reasons, for every household this day of every year is better spent inside with the family. While outside is sombre, inside is a world of bright frenzied color, a hysteria of ripping wrapping paper and flying colored ribbons. Christmas music and festive fragrances of cinnamon and spice and all things nice fill in the air. Exclamation of glee, of hugs and thanks explode like party streamers. These christmas days are indoor days. Days which are spent with greetings and hugs. Days which I look forward most throughout the whole year.

In the future, I shall emphasize the importance christmas to my kids

with much love!

the magic of christmas

2009-11-18T09:40:00.013+08:00

All I've ever wanted was to kiss you under a mistletoe and knowing that you're not just anybody I met in a party, but someone who I want to spend my Christmas with for the rest of my life

I reckon Santa's mailbox is too full with billions of other people's wish list that mine kind of got neglected this year. Maybe my letter never did reach North pole because it got lost on its way. Either way the last five days of the year 2009 would be here in a blink of an eye and I'm not even looking forward to it. Life's such a fail sometimes and I kind of figured out that life is never easy for those who dream.All I wish was one thing and I've been pretty good this year so I don't really see why Santa wouldn't grant my wish... so yeah the most sensible thing that could have happened was Santa didn't have the opportunity to read my wish list. Come to think about it, if he grants rich spoiled kids with new racing cars, new gadgets or new dolls which speaks I'd shoot him for sure.

I don't know how much of my life would be lost in waiting. Sometimes I ask myself if I can bear with all this ambiguity any longer because really, I don't even know where time is taking us. Whether we would be even further or closer in the next years is so unclear that it kills sometimes.If you should know, I miss you half the time and fact that we are always so far away from each other makes me wonder if we would ever, ever be at each other's side for long.

As much as I would like to give it all up, I know I'm not capable of doing so. I've really forgotten how to live without you so despite of all these obstacles I'd have to go through, I tell myself I will never give up. Because I want to grow old with you :) It might be too a big a dream to be planned out but I don't bother thinking about it. Je t'aime beaucoup.

Ah, I don't know what the year 2009 have against me... I would be stressing out during Christmas this year with mocks in January. I can't wait till IB ends in June 2010.

till next time,

xoxo

A different definition of love♡

2009-11-16T15:53:00.013+08:00

✿a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot

✿who calls you back when you hang up on him

✿who will stay awake just to watch you sleep

✿wait for the guy who kisses your forehead

✿who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats

✿who holds your hand in front of his hands

✿who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you

✿who turns to his friends and says ' That's her! '

If the world were to end in 2012

2009-11-13T08:55:00.005+08:00

Come to think about it, nobody makes doomsday movies with such happy endings like Roland Emmerich. I guess in a way 2012 delivers what it promises it would, and since no sentient being will enter the cinema hall expecting anything else, it will be, for most, one of the most satisfactory films of the year. Critics might say otherwise, but really, catch the movie to get a glimpse of what the experts have to say about the world coming to an end. It's proven, however that the world is not going to end in 2012 and there's nothing for us to worry about. Either way, all of us clearly know that the world actually seems it is coming to an end anyway. from global warming, to riots, and disasters... I don't think anyone in their right mind would still think that the world is still the way it is centuries ago. the world IS changing.

I understand the question 'what if the world is coming to end?' has been pretty common lately... but really, what would you do if you learned that everything is coming to an end?

Personally, it's too tough a question for me to answer. All I can think about now is to fall into a fantasy and be with you♥ Sometimes I prefer to believe in magic than realism... because somehow reality doesn't quite coincide with what I desire.

Love as though you've never been hurt before

2009-11-08T20:46:00.004+08:00

I personally wouldn't expect anyone to be a constant reader of my blog anymore but still, I thought it would be nice to write a few paragraphs on the highlights of my life for the past month.

Grade 12 is indeed a busy year and I don't really want to emphasize on it more because it I think i've had enough of complaining. I feel sick complaining about school because it's not going to be better in any... any way.

Everywhere in singapore is looking alot like christmas which makes it all a better place to live. sigh i've always adored christmas. Not only for the decorations, but for the season of sharing and love. and the exchange of presents :) and not to mention the parties and pretty dresses.

too bad this year would be a little bit more different because mocks are on January so i would have to stick to my books more... sigh what a life. but it's okay i guess. less than 6 months i'll be graduating and imma enjoy life.

Well, just when you thought that life is stagnant for you and when you think everything's just going to be the way they are, you find that you are totally wrong. I mean sometimes things happen in the least expected way and the people whom you least expected turned out to be the one who hurt you most. I guess all one can do is not to hope or rely on anyone too much but then again, you forget this after a while and you fall totally helpless once again. Sometimes I ask myself what I did wrong for something like this to happen to me but since it has, already happened I should let it flow and get on with life. This is the way life should be anyways.

Conversely, things do change for the better if you want it to be. If something has upset you, then try to work things round. and after each obstacle you overcome, you find that you are stronger and more immune to such a thing. But that doesn't mean we want the same thing to happen again. Never again, please..

I find myself so lost at words sometimes, but I know it's over and that I should start over because I know what the real situation is. You prolly don't get what I'm typing about... it's rather personal but the point is, things don't stay the same way forever and life's really not a fairytale... even if i would want it to be so badly. the strength of character means the ability to overcome resentment against others, to hide hurt feelings and to forgive quickly. It's easy said, hard to get it done. oh well who said life will be easy?

Oh right and it's my fourth month with calvin :) I can't believe it's already november and before i know it, he's right by my side again. For now, seeing him through my webcam and hearing his voice every singleee day would suffice. I just want to let you know that, you mean the world to me and i want to grow old with you.

"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love."

mother teresa

she's nothing like the girl you've seen before

2009-10-14T21:14:00.002+08:00

come on courage, tell me that I am strong

approximately a month since i've blogged eh? I didn't even know this until I visited my blog tonight. there's simply too much happening in school... and nothing that special that i wish to talk about.. except well

1) my last UN night ever turned out perfect

2) extended essay's deadline's over

anyway it's the month of October, Calvin left to australia and no one could have understood what i went through the few weeks after he left. You have no idea, seriously. I mean like, I myself didn't know I would be that dependable on someone... life's hard when someone you love is so... far away. when young adults should be enjoying their days with the guy they are.. i have to quietly accept what im going through and just wait for the next time i meet him.. oh well? i guess 4th of december won't be that far away.. :(

oh wait the best bit of news would be that, it's the mid-term break holidays! so yeah i have 2 weeks off from school. I've actually forgotten how it felt like to sleep without having to think about work and deadlines. nice. :)

I see so many of my friends going into Uni, I guess life's pretty different now? :( I remember how I first went abroad, leaving my family and friends behind. It felt so wrong, but there was nothing I could do. I wish them all the best though. I can't wait till i graduate from uwcsea, and head off to do something new. hmmm

step a little closer to me, so close to me... so i can't see what's going on. all i want is you.

walk on by

2009-09-27T13:43:00.006+08:00

latest reunion with the girls as Md and Vivi visits singapore on 25th sept, Friday evening

Ben was in town for a few days before leaving to Seattle.

To be strictly accurate, currently my last high school year has not been particularly fun as it should be as shown on movies, magazines and novels. what a shambles.
I've somewhat forgotten how to live without my laptop, and forgotten how not to launch at least one of the microsoft office's softwares as soon as my laptop's on. my life, simply revolves around high school and IB to be specific. Not that it's that bad, but well it sucks big time if you ask me.

people say, 'hey at least you don't get bored having too much free time'
i mean excuse me? i would rather laze all day round, sipping on Martinis and flipping the pages of a fashion magazine then to crack my brains for some Darwin's theory or maths' equations. i actually mean what i say. so if anyone would like to swap roles with me, i would do it willingly.

so now, little things makes me feel contented like having a fancy dinner at the end of a week would top things for me. I like indulging myself to good food after the whole hectic week. but since mom's leaving town this week, i don't know who'll be willing to spend on me hehehe not that i am stingy on myself... no way i love food so i spend as much as i can on them. but i would rather spend on garments to be honest. so when she leaves town, i would prolly go back to decent meals? but i usually yield to temptations.. so.. ugh yeah.

Something have been in my head all the while, and I thought I should share this in my blog. well, you know how you tend to see the elderly in the underpasses of orchard sitting down on the floor trying to sell packets of tissues to you, or if you by any chance see anyone begging for money... just try to donate? i guess we shouldn't deal too much on 'oh they might be part of a syndicate' or like 'dont donate or everyone will crowd around you!'... or whatever, i mean like, the fact that they are already begging/asking for money shows that they NEED this money. i mean it's not like 2 bucks or 5 can make you go poor or something :( sometimes a few cents would mean alot for them, too. so really, it's the thought that counts. because it's by giving, that we receive.

well, i guess that's it for this post :)

till then xoxo

Literature is mostly about having sex and not much about having children. Life is the other way round.

a month of half-smiles

2009-09-23T14:42:00.006+08:00

Calvin's in Singapore for a one week transit sort of thing, :) which is great cause i get to spend time with him before he leaves for his vacation to Maldives. he's leaving this Friday and will be coming back next Thursday? then next Saturday he'll be on his way back to Melbourne again. well, not like i can do anything to stop him. so i guess i am just being fair on things and like, accept things the way it is :) i guess to appreciate everything is just what one should do.

i think he's really nice, and not that i would like to mention this here but you know how i usually get mood swings and i just get pissed for whatever reasons, but then he's still so patient on me... it's like i get so angry but then he's just there, so calm and composed, willing to listen to whatever i have to say. sigh sometimes i find myself so unreasonable... like if were the guy, i would have obviously slapped this bitchy girlfriend. so really, i wonder if he could stay this way forever :D

but then again, we're really too young to actually be too overly serious for anything so let's justbe happy for what we have now, and i think this goes the same to everyone my age :)

oh and i think it's roughly 17 days till October the 10th? :) which means our mid term break is reallllyyy close :) i just can't wait to like sleep in every morning and enjoy life a little. i want to meet someone back in Medan so badly :) so let's see how plans turn out.

i think before the break though, there are so many things due. EE, world lit, written essay... and like i am retaking SATs, and probably doing TOEFL as well. -.- okay i don't want to remind myself now.

well! no time to complain :D i hope everyone's doing well! and for those who's embracing new changes in life, all the best :)

Look, I don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive you've got to flap your arms and legs, you've got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or you're not alive.

ups and down in life

2009-09-15T22:47:00.004+08:00

many times i find myself, lost for words for things which I've done with such irresponsibility... sometimes i think i live in my own fascination, a dream, a fantasy where everything's perfect, where everything simply goes the way it's planned or expected.

what's up is, this coming Thursday, I'm supposed to be taking my grade 6 piano exam but i simply gave up on the very last minute. i know i sound like a total failure now, and it's all purely my fault. I felt like i wasted everyone's time and the fact that my cousin could pass her exam why can't i?
then my tutor told me that i shouldn't be comparing, and if i don't want to be compared to others' then i should outshine myself from the others. which is true. so if anyone's going to compare me at this moment, i'm fine because... i shouldn't be pushing the blame on anyone else... and justifying and thinking im always right because this time it's my actions which have brought me down.

Kamern told me that from this i can learn a lesson and in life, things don't always turn out the way it should... and i should accept this. sometimes things just don't happen the way i want it to be. and yeah, i thought about it... and did my own reflections. i mean, even if i'm very busy in school which is the excuse i always tend to give myself and everyone else... i should at least put aside an hour to practice the piano right?
as in, i can go out, and the fact that i can go on facebook, twitter all these social networking sites for hours, i should also be able to practice the piano! i need to prioritize my time...

this is one of the million things that i should learn from life. and i just thought i should share this to everyone. I know it's easy to say, but it's hard to change the bad habits. but with determination, i don't think anything is impossible

most importantly, i thank my mom for being so supportive.. i know she would be the next person who would be most dissapointed after myself. she has always been giving me lectures on the importance of graduating piano, and how she would be very very happy if i played the piano everyday. yet i tend to neglect her advices... but today even if her dreams are shattered, she's still so supportive.. :( i tend to complain about her sometimes, about how naggy and stuff but really, if i don't have her guidance through my teen years, who else would be there for me?

i shall stop running away from responsibilities and have the courage to overcome each obstacles. and i hope... god will give me the strength. :) i will pull through this year!

i have to make a promise to myself, my mom, my teacher and everyone else concerned that i will put aside time for piano and i shouldn't keep giving excuses, and blaming it on others, and justifying. :) i shall put in more effort in this because i've came this far and i don't wanna give up that easily.

"There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." -- Albert Einstein

xoxo

changes changes changes

2009-09-13T02:27:00.005+08:00

before reading this post, please play the video embedded below :) this shall be a good video/song to keep spirits up :) it did make me feel better when i was having a mental breakdown early this afternoon...

the fact that every week is passing by so quickly has its good and bad sides. The good point is that the half term break is in October which means i'm getting close to it... bad point is that, there's so so so much due before the break, so, ... now i tell myself to just stop counting days and just let it flow. i've grown out of the habit of counting and striking each dates on the calendar... i think i am better off using time wisely and enjoying every bits of my last high school year. i shouldn't fret too much about school work. after all, it's the last year of being a high school student. i might never be able to wind back time after i graduate and get into uni life. so... let's make full use of it.

weekends doens't seem like weekends anymore now. i still, look forward to them though because i know i can sleep in and sleep late, not having to worry to have to wake up at 7.30 in the morning. :) but then i don't do as much as i used to... i don't hang out at night w people, or like party the night away because everyone's already trodden by the amount of work they have.

i haven't been able to think about anything else apart from SCHOOL WORK. because my unconscious mind has been busy alerting me with deadlines...

but then again, i know things WILL get better ,eventually. it's just a matter of time.
maybe half the people who reads this has the same feelings as i do. but LET's try not to complain?
... because if you actually try to think about the world... and how so many people are dieing each day, and how many cannot afford the education each of us receive... the many people who are out on the streets at this hour, still begging for money, maybe... maybe we will shut up and stop complaining. ( i still can't, but i'll do my best to shut up and be grateful) :)

p.s i miss my room back in indo :( and most importantly home!

I GOTTA FEELING that TONIGHT'S GONNA BE A GOOD NIGHT ;)

"If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, 'thank you,' that would suffice." -- Meister Eckhart

get pumped!

2009-09-10T20:16:00.005+08:00

i currently have bangs now. i don't really want them anymore so i hope it grows out.

ANYWAY, life's been really hectic and not like anyone on twitter hasn't heard my complains through my daily tweets. there are times when i simply wish... time would stop for a while... so i can sink into the bath tub or something and relax a little bit.
but currently, life's not on a bed of roses. and all i can do is go to school, take a nap then get working on assignments, then before i knew it, it's bed time. the worse part is, this cycle occurs and repeats itself every, single day.
i have my extended essay due in 20 days? world lit, and i am retaking SATs. then there'll be so much more coming up. in bio just now my teacher just reminded us we would be doing our own investigation pretty soon. i mean like, when does this stop? apparently, it doesn't. well not until you graduate at lesat.
but then as they say what you sow is what you reap, so maybe this hard work will pay off one day. i should start managing my time well, get working on my assignments and start on revision. because seriously, i've never done revision because there's too much work to be given in. then again, if others can excel in school without being overly stressed, why can't i?

even if i have lesser time to blog, i kind of have a number of people i talk to now... people whom i share my life problems with so everything's pretty much better. so if anyone feels stressed out, talk to someone. heed my advice because it does work. you will pretty much feel more supported.

:) there's many things i look forward to, many i wish i can run away from. but to conclude off this post, life's ever changing, it's dynamic! so let's live with it and embrace changes.
you'll be a better person after you've overcome the obstacles in life. so all the best

and one thing that's up on my calender ; he's coming over for a week on 19th sept. :)

xoxo

p.s i changed my layout! :)

this post's dedicated solely to my brother (:

2009-09-04T22:51:00.020+08:00

i was Facebook-ing when i unconciously typed my brother's name on the search bar, and then i kind of browsed through his photos and realized how he is such a grown up now. even if we're together in Singapore, he wakes up early and comes home late so we don't really get to communicate much. but he always calls me if i want dinner or if i want to go out on saturday but i always turn down his offer saying that i've so much work to catch up on... now i seriously think i should take any opportunity i can to spend time with him or else in years to come he might soon have a family of his own, and a life of his own. deep in me, i know that everything will inevitably be different then.

he's at the top row, 9th from right. he was so young and vulnerable back then.

then he kind of grew independent and i remembered how he left us when there was a riot in Medan in 1998?... my sis and i left to Penang and he went to Singapore.
after 4 years in penang i moved to singapore because mom wanted us to be together.
and so here... he's grown up so much it scares me a little.

whilst he was visiting dubai;

His trip to India

His graduation,with outstanding results (: he has never, never let anyone of us down
Year 2008

January 2009

Chinese new year 2009

May 2009

sometimes i look at my bro and ask 'why are you wearing this pair of jeans?' 'why dont you get a new laptop to replace your old one?' 'why won't you get something new'... he's so humble that i respect him so much. he doesn't show off, he doesn't have to have the latest piece of clothing, nor the latest gadgets. he has always taught me
'the quietest out of the group, is usually the most outstanding one' and i remember him always reminding me not, never, never to be a bimbo
'never strut your way through the mall thinking you're beautiful with a Chanel bag like bimbos where their brains have got nothing. dont be like them. read the paper shirly, know about the world!'
i mean he might not look his best on the surface but i think he's a man with something inner (: and he's my truly inspiration.

yeah he's all grown up now, dressed in suites and everything but even if he has changed physically, he's spirit and love for us has never changed.people always tell me i'm lucky that i've a brother like him but i've never really asked myself why. but tonight... everything explains itself. and as much as i hate to say that things changes, i've learnt to be grateful for everything which... happened.

i love you bro (: forever and ever.

p.s: i will post something about my sis when this same feeling hits me (:

viva la vida

2009-09-02T00:23:00.002+08:00

well,
i just wanted to be nice and welcome the month of September :) its presence simply comforts me a little because it's only 5 weeks away from half term break, and i just feel that xmas is round the corner :) well maybe not really but well 3 and half months ain't that bad. (ok, maybe i should stop comforting myself)

things just gooooooo très rapide in grade 12!!

till then

LIVING LIFE ON THE FAST LANE

2009-09-01T01:01:00.001+08:00

my life's is at its peak right now. everything zooms by and i better get a grasp of everything before everything tumbles.

management's what i need.

thank god I've you by my side to go through this. this, every single day and night.

goodnight folks.

cravings.

2009-08-27T08:43:00.006+08:00

Bellevue Pm in rose pop

Louis Vuitton monogram Vernis Wilshire boulevard

these two bags caught my eyes yesterday whilst i was out with my mom. fabulous bags to die for ,like seriously.

definition of beauty,anyone?

2009-08-26T22:26:00.008+08:00

so what exactly is beauty for you? I've taken approximately three full days to find out what beauty is to me... i know it's funny how long i took but i really didn't want to be shallow and be like oh that is beauty or like oh nope that's not beauty. i guess, the definition of beauty is pretty subjective as everyone sees things differently and it is seriously up to the eyes of the beholder.
today though, i finally decided for myself that beauty is... happiness.

Beauty is not just confined to the looks of a beautiful young woman, beauty can come in the forms of nature, of people's souls, of art and words and many others. and as for me, beauty comes in the form of happiness.
like when you know you're in love and you feel you're in cloud nineor when you see a flower blossom, and you're amazed by mother nature...

sometimes you turn around the corner and you see babies in their trams looking all glowing and gleeful, and you feel the warmness by their innocence.. that is beauty.
or when you attend a wedding and see the commitment the couple have put in for the big day, and you see the beauty of a marriage... that is beauty.

or when you're simplyyyyyyy enjoying the sunset :)

sigh beauty's everywhere! i really wouldn't have realized this if my tok teacher didnt appoint this assignment to us.

and for now, being happy's my top top top priority. when you feel happy everything seems to be just in place and that's when you find security.

i guess beauty is everything that's pleasing for you and yeah, by definition it is that too.
what's beauty for you?

Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old. -- Franz Kafka

missing youuuu

2009-08-23T02:24:00.004+08:00

snuggled up in bed with the heavy rain pouring at 2.30 am outside, all i can do now is think of you :')

all i can ever wish upon a star now is that i can walk down the streets with you hands in hands :)
if only we're not miles apart. till then baby

Grade 12 so far...

2009-08-21T00:16:00.004+08:00

bonjour! :)

aight i can't believe... tomorrow's friday already. now that was... fast.
Fo shizzle, i am done with my first draft of US university application-personal statement :)
i wrote about my mom; someone who had a significant influence on me.

life's moving on pretty fast but you know unlike last time where i keep all my rants on this blog, i have some very lovely people whom i share my problems to now so i don't feel that bad nowadays. so i guess that's something to be grateful about

and furthermore meeting my best friend sherley straight after school everyday is pretty much something to look forward to :) she's like someone who owns a diploma in housekeeping, so when she came over yesterday, she cleaned my house thoroughly :) aye, so sweet of her
winona's pretty busy with school atm i guess, so : ( but i'm glad we had picnic together on tuesday afternoon

sch life is good apart from bio classes which i simply detest. but then catching up with kmt lilyz mocha eli valz joss tika sara eunjee and others are always the best :)

i think this blog is getting rather hideous... i should do something about it :)
maybe do something to the layout and add more pictures.
i think i sort of have a different taste to things so let's see how i work out this blog.

till then xxx

the end of a magical summer

2009-08-16T23:09:00.005+08:00

too long to load the photos, i will find time : D

i tell myself 'no tomorrow's not monday' , 'nope, tmrw's not 17th of august'....
but in the end i still have to accept the fact that summer is coming to an end, and grade 12 starts tomorrow. it might sound exciting for many of you whose not doing IB, like you might be thinking 'hey you're the seniors now! and you'll be graduating high school' but hell no, you don't know whats there ahead of us :( omg everytime i think about school... THIS school, i think i might go into a trance or something because the flashbacks starts to play in my mind.... the times where i burnt midnight oil doing my essays, courseworks, projects............ and it scares the hell out of me :( like really i am not ready for another hard and tedious year... you never really get a break. nope you don't.

i dont want to seem to not be enjoying school, but then it's just that... things are going to be tense this year. make that VERY... like last year's batch said it was crazayeee or something. i wonder how i will make it through this year... maybe like how i did it in grade 11; 5 cans of coffee everyy day. well most days.

summer has been amazing, even when it was coming to it's last week, it was still perfect. :)
i met so many new people and had so many new experiences.
but there's this thing that's making me so cross... i mean one day, someone will spill the beans and you'll know who i am talking about... but till then, i hope you will live with more dignity.

i cried so much ystrday when dalviny and nowinza left... i mean i know i am being emotional but hey... i really dont know when i will meet those people i met during summer. i left indo so abruptly because mom had plans to go to malaysia that i didnt even do any proper goodbye : (

Ah i miss summer so dearly. i miss the people at home, i miss the food, i miss the atmosphere i miss everything....
to be honest... i am missing someone so baddddddddddddddddddddd that it's making me crazy :( i hope we meet soon, and i dont know why, when i spend time with this someone special, i feel like the world's ours :( i miss you : (

oh well, all the best for uwc-ians :) grade 12 tomorrow! last year and offf we go to university

sigh...................... i have so much in my mind :( i have fears, i have doubts i have worries. i dont know how i will end up solving them

goodnighttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt i hope tmrw's a good day

KILL ME NOW

2009-08-03T12:47:00.002+08:00

WHAT'S UP BLOGGERS :)
im finally back into blogging business. honestly I'm hesitating as i type this post, but i know really i can't afford to totally stop blogging because blogging has been a part of my life for quite some time already, soo here's my post for a catch up on my life during summer

to sum it all up, summer has been truely magical and i mean it :) like... i really didn't expect this much from a summer break! everything i wished for and hoped for finally happened, and at the look at it, everything seems perfect at the moment :)

i spent my whole summer back in my hometown though, because obviously there was no chance i could get the europe visa done because my granny was sick and mom could only get back to Indo after the third week of my hols, but it's okay, everything happens for a reason, and thinking about it.... if i did go for the europe trip, NOTHING of this would be happening now
so yeah :)

sigh i don't know how to go on blogging about how i feel now, because i really really i feel like everything's just right at the moment, and i can't ask for more, seriously.
i've to say there's this thing in me which has changed, the way i used to think about a particular thing, :) so YES, people do change for a reason :)

that's for now i guess? i don't know what else to say... im rather lost for words :)

less than 2 weeks till summer's over and i would have to get back to reality :( ah, i hate this.
Natasha is leaving to London, many others are leaving to Australia... nothing is forever i guess, but you can do something to strengthen the friendship so let's see how this goes :) after all, this is life... it goes on. though i can never accept this fact.. :/

i am going to stop now, so enjoy the last bits of summer... have a blast :)

lots and lots of love

and oh yes
happy 18 th birthday Dalviny sayang :)
love youuu xxx

summer crazeeeeee

2009-07-06T17:30:00.004+08:00

how's summer going for you guys?
oh well you know how they say, things changes? and i've obviously witness all these.
people do change, i mean face it. people just do... even those whom you once called... a best friend?
i don't know what's really bothering them, but they sometimes shouldn't go too emotional... i dont know really, and i don't care anymore.

/anyway, winona left to singapore and dessy is alwaysss busy with her own life so i kind of hang out with calz and my cousin melissa everyday :) which is nice, because i mean like, it's nicer to be with a few close people than.... -_- 10 other people who would just bullshit their way through a meal which actually happened todayyyy

cal will be leaving pretty soon and sherleyy will be back and natasha will too which is good :) but i will miss my best buddy when he leaves to aussie!

and... guess what, as predicteddddddddddddddd; NO HOMEWORK DONE
i really should get started... or else im screweddd.. sometimes i wish i never did ib. i guess e

so that's it for now, my granny is still in singapore... honestly... i dont know when she will be perfectly fine... sometimes i wonder if she would still be as strong as she would be?

life? someoneeee define it for me. i've came to a point where i am tired of figuring it out... ):

xxxx

summer!

2009-06-30T02:17:00.000+08:00

Hello :) sigh it feels so weird to be blogging using my phone!
It would make things 10 times easier if my sis had installed the wireless internet

Oh well, I'm back to indo and I can never be happierrr :) grandma's all fine now, she can walk and eat properly which is why I am back now!
But mom and granny's still in spore and will hopefully be back in a week's time?

Ah, and yes my days are mostly spent with cal :) and some other chaps since everyone seems to be un-contactable :s
We hve been watching a movie each day and today's movie was really shit! :( some other culture I will never understand ughh but oh well :) watched it with lor and cal so if I'm accompanied by my bffs I guess it's ok :)
Oh well but tmrw winona will be back and wir is back too! So yay finally more ppl

Nat will be back ard the 9th too... Can't wait :)

Everything has pretty much changed... Sometimes I find myself asking myself... If I am doing well now, what would it take to make it better?
:( god knows the answer so I will leave this to himmm

... Secretly, alwaysss hoping

unexpected

2009-06-21T02:12:00.004+08:00

sigh, i can't believe summer break has actually started... :) it's such good news
i've been out like, every single day with the girls and i really think we have the best friendship ever :) photos are all on facebook... i will post it here... when i feel like it.
nowadays, i am just stuck on my laptop watching free movies online
now i am watching boys before flowers :)

well, there's some amendments to my supposedly holiday plans,
i'm supposed to be taking tmrw's morning flight back to Medan, but... sad to say, my grandma's sick :( and she's coming over to singapore for a bit... and see how everything goes.

i don't really know what the situation is, and i hope it's not serious.
i feel like it's been so long since i gave her a phone call, nor tell her how much i miss/love her... i know right, what a bad granddaughter?

Since young, she has been my guardian angel, someone who had showered me with abundance of love when my mom was way too busy with work... She was always, always there for me.
she's the one who got me my first barbie doll, and my 2nd, and 3rd and 4th...
she's the one who got me my first pet hamster,
she's the one who was there listening to stories of my first crush
she's the one who got me the sari when i told her i love indian movies,
she's the one who would bring me out to the beach, waiting by the side for me to collect seashells.
those memories even if it's fading with each passing day... will remain in my heart forever.

i remember incidences where she would somehow always find a way to keep me out from troubles... and trying to cover up so many things so that my mom would stop scolding me...
thinking about it now, i was so close to her back then, because she used to live with me while i was in Malaysia studying... but as i've moved to singapore, everything's pretty much changed. i only see her at an average of 4 months out of 12.
... i'm speechless, after typing that out, like my heart skipped a bit or something :( i miss her
she would always tell me her version of Cinderella, trying to come up with the best fairytale ending she could, and always telling me i should always believe in what i want/do, because one day it will come true.

and i feel ashamed but i kind of felt really down for a bit when i heard granny was coming because i was in a dilemma whether to stay in singapore or take the flight back tmrw morning
after looking at it now, how insane could i be to have thought about going back to indo and not taking care of my granny! what a bitch i can be sometimes...
i thought about how my week of summer would go wasted in Singapore... but omg, how can i even have that going in my mind?!
all my mom said to me was 'well you decide...sometimes it's not about what you want dear, it's about what you'll regret after doing so...'

granny will be here tmrw morning, i am secretly.. afraid of what i have to say/do when i see her :( i can't afford to cry when i see her, because it would sadden her :( oh well granny, i hope you won't be frail when i see you... because it breaks my heart whenever i see you not as active as you would normally be...

i love you, granny... always do.

tell me now, or never

2009-06-18T03:23:00.003+08:00

definitely, maybe... there's always this someone who you always look forward to catch up with. to share your stories, to cry on, to play with, to watch a movie with, to quarrel with... this someone... somehow turns to someone who knows you in and out, someone who, helps greatly just sitting there beside you, listening to everything you've got to say... well, sometimes pretending to be.
and to me, that special someone would be my best guy friend and i guess all would probably know who this chap is by now..
but then again, there are simply times where i hope he didnt exist.. especiallyin times when we started quarreling

i don't know, i've been watching movies online, and it left me thinking about my own life... you know how some movies just simply relates to your life... well just maybe the happy ending part is missing? because well, 17 in the movies is where the fairy tale starts, or somewhere ard that ageee... i've still got a pretty longgg way to go. :)

i just wonder what's there on hold for me... it's such a mystery to discover, and magical too.

holiday is about to start, SUMMER is here!
will be back to hometown on sunday morning and europe in july i hope!
it always feel so good to be back home... i can't wait! :) the smell of fresh flower scented bedsheets... and the kitchen filled with the aroma of scrumptious food... aha, finally... finally. i deserve a good holiday!

xoxoxo

counting till summer

2009-06-15T22:03:00.004+08:00

work work work is tiring me out.

i feel super relieved today, because i finally handed in my coursework! 15minutes before the date line.. I'm so glad i have it off my shoulder now because it has been weighing down lately...
no one would know how much effort was put in, except probably jess and ruhi. we stayed up all night... jess had only 10 minutes of sleep. i had 2 hours. Ruhi, had NONE.
we looked so dead today, but i believe all that effort won't go to waste! but one lesson learnt... well, as usual, is that late minute work isn't the best thing, so we should try to prevent that. but then again, we never learn.

i can't believe it's the last week of Grade 11! next year will be insane, everything's going to go super quick and before i know it, i would be graduating from uwc. sounds exciting... but the whole process might kill me, looking at how much work i would be given next year (diessss)

anyway! since mom's birthday is round the corner i was hoping i can play a song for her on the piano since she's always wanting me to play a good one for her, and i might as well give her a surprise. but i am just scared it might be scary because i might miss out some notes when i play infront of the many people... but then again, we'll see how it all goes.

last weekend was awesome, i practically stayed up all night because quite a few of the girls crashed at my place on saturday night, god knows what we did. nevertheless, i think everthing was worth it i mean we had fun, and it's our last weekend before each of us leave for holidays :) gee, we have to go to st james together :)

i watched terminator on friday night with Nat and sherley, it wasn't that bad after all. I don't usually like action movies, but this one was rather okay! i wanted to watch state of play but that sherley wouldn't give in, boo you.

it feels so good knowing that the holidays are near... after the whole intense year of grade 11.
and knowing that geo is over, sat is over, bio is over... practically everything that i listed in the posts before.

anyway after what seemed like ages, i watched confessions of a shopaholic today! well, i've long read all the books by sophie kinsella. i think her novels are really good to read and interesting. i think every girl should read this book at one point in their life...
and i've been looking to watch this movie for months!
well like many girls would have done after reading the novel, i have somehow imagined what luke would be like from the descriptions in the novel, but Luke in the movie was rather different from what i imagined... well he is good looking in his own way, but i thought at least luke was the perfect guy, the guy who's neat, and doesn't have ruffled hair,... i imagined him to be smart looking... drop dead gorgeous.
but then again, Luke in the movie wasn't that far off, but i mean, there would be much better guys who will suit this role.
and... why would bloomwood had to be a red-headed. :/
it would be far more entertaining if they just acted everything out from the novel so i can see more vivid images coming out from the words i've read in the past, but then they somehow chose to change so much :s

yet even if it contradicts so much from the novel, it was a good movie :) well, at least for those who love chick flicks.

one last thing i have in mind the whole weekend was... i find it funny how some people try so hard to be famous, like working things around just to appear famous when... well, they are actually not.
... if it's just something one decides to do for fun, why the 'big' title, why make such a big fuss.
oh wells not that it matters to me :)

I silently, secretly, hope...

see, that's what i call wonderland ♥

2009-06-09T12:32:00.011+08:00

there, now it all makes sense! When i first stumbled across the picture of the hello kitty villa from Katy perry's blog, i thought it was some random photoshopped house, but then later Audrey told me about this villa, and... i decided i should list this destination onto my wish list :)
It's in Taipei i guess, if you google Hello Kitty Villa you will be able to find more about this place.
i mean the picture says it all, i don't want to elaborate more about it. Because the more i think about this unbelievably adorable place , the more i want to just flee from all this work load, say goodbye to IB and flee for a holiday.
well not that i haven't realize, graduating from IB will not happen till next June, so yeah f m l.

it's practically six days left of school ♥ , but in other words i have 4 assignments due. and they are not even like, small ones.
and not that i would really have a holiday where there's no work needed to be done, much more of a 'homework' leave where i have to do homework and catch up from what i have not been understanding in gr11.

i don't know, i don't see the point of complaining anymore
it just gives me a bad migraine...
i shall be happy and grateful for what i have, so yes, i am going to buck up and stop moaning. it's really really pointless. asdiasdijdiajddoker

Bons baisers ♥

waiting for this life to change; it's taking forever
and i can't hold on. the light is breaking into the day
take time to contemplate who you really are... and where you really want to go...
and who you really want to be with

1,2,3,4,5.. when do i stop counting

2009-06-08T18:54:00.019+08:00

On Saturday after the SAT test, i finally got to meet up with Angeline, Natasha and Sherley:) it's simply insane how IB has been treating me... i can't even meet up with them most of the times. thank god i have the weekends to loosen up a bit.

Sherley kept telling us how there's this noodle stall over at Vivo so we all had a go at it and it was pretty awesome, :)

it's at the basement 2 called the Kolo mee. :)looks good doesn't it

I've finally collected my Pre-ordered Sims 3 :D and we all came back to my house because i was way too eager to have it installed!

i've been a sims addict since i was in grade... 4 i think. sigh i can't believe even in grade 11, which means like after 7 years , i am still playing the same game, except now, it's an even better verison :)

Lily had her birthday dinner in the evening and yeah we met up :) we had some pretty good laughs. videos are uploaded by jess on facebook

i guess there's this busy week ahead of me and i hate to say this but i am so pissed at the moment :s i wonder why adults are such irrational people... fuck all of this, seriously!

around the corner

2009-06-03T23:35:00.003+08:00

11 and 1/2 days left of school, 16 days left.

and, i. miss. you,

Scant hopes

2009-06-02T14:12:00.003+08:00

"The search continued through the night for an Air France plane that disappeared over the Atlantic, but little hope remained that any of 228 people on board would be found alive...
Officials said there was little hope of survivors from what appears to be the worst air accident in over a decade."

It's a rather horrifying news to know that such a thing can happen to air France... it's not even a low budget airline. and to think how badly this incident would affect the families of the passengers who went missing... life's so unpredictable; one second you're here the next minute you know your life is over. is that just how life works? i guess it is. Define life anyone, i bet no one can... sigh, such things just gets us thinking, and the more we think, the more we find how complicated life is.

the next thing is this:

"You can have a ball taking online quizzes on Facebook and other sites, but here are some things you should know before you do.
online quizzes lately -- you know, the ones all over the Web promising to reveal your IQ, personality traits or celebrity resemblances. Aside from discovering my inner Sleeping Beauty, I've also learned something important: These quizzes are about far more than providing users with enlightening or entertaining information."

i bet everyone has at least taken the quizzes on Facebook once, or maybe more than that. but yeah i just read over this article and i thought everyone should just know what the quizzes that we are all taking are merely ads and powerful tools for companies to collect our informations; in ways one might one notice.
these quizzes are getting people to pay attention to ads. so yeah :s

"The ads can follow you long after you click away, too. Just look at Real Age, a detailed quiz that assigns you a "biological age" based on your family history and health habits. The site, a recent investigation revealed, takes your most sensitive qns -- those about sexual difficulties, say, or signs of depression -- and sells them to drug companies looking to market medications."

I just thought maybe we should take extra care about what we think are 'merely' quizzes.

:) anyway it's... roughly 13 school days left :) and probably 18 days left till the holidays.
SATs test this saturday and yeah i think i might have to redo the test later this year... maybe around october.
holiday plans are still not decided because everything is just so tedious :s i hope things work out though.
i have testssss and Geography Coursework all due before the holidays. great.

WITH LOVE.

live like you're dying

2009-05-31T19:10:00.012+08:00

Salut!

Happy 19th birthday Meidelin :)

how did your weekend go? sad but true, i am already in my holiday mood which is 19 days away. i simply can't wait and my excitement is killing me already. i might have to do quite alot of homework during my hols, plus extra tuitions but i don't care, as long as i am in a holiday and there's no school, that's heaven for me already. :)

anyway these two days i've been out with mom and even if it's the great singapore sale, we didnt seem to find anything suitable or worth buying. except for the shoes we both love of course, and some other garments which i don't say is many because it's a sale... but i guess it's just the beginning of the sale and the climax is not till mid june.

and apart from shopping i've been having fanciful meals past few days, bad at one point but good that i can at last enjoy myself :) we had lunch at 7atenine at the esplanade today and the food there is just fab they serve like 20 different courses, in like dim-sum style.. :) it's such a mystery because the chef changes the food served everyday;very inventive right. i think i've gained approx two kg since mom came and it usually happens :s
i wished i had my camera with me so i can share the pictures but sadly it's not focusing and i hate pictures taken with a sony camera.

also also, i've been planning to do worthy things during the holidays. Like baking, and going for yoga...or swim more often.
so while i was browsing at kinokuniya, i told myself i simply had to get books on cupcakes!

the right one is the cupcake deck and the recipes are on individual cards. :) i can't help myself from spending hours adoring the cards because the cupcakes are all so pretty!

.....and our holiday plans! i think it's set that we'll be leaving to europe on august :) but we still have to check out the dates... because my school reopens on the 17th? i think so. i hope the tour dates doesn't intercepts my school dates :s
at last, so many ticks off my to do list... wait, i wasn't referring to my homework though. i still have many and ive got to start :)
19 days, 19. hold on shirly! it's really soon! winona's leaving to indo tmrw :( so lucky and i will miss her :( on the other hand, sherley's first day tmrw, i hope she does ok and know we're always here for you!

but if i should break, if i should fall away
what am i to do?

i need someone to take, a little of the weight
or ill fall through

keep your heads straight

2009-05-30T10:36:00.003+08:00

in Bio yesterday, as an introduction to the new chapter we were about to start, Ms Teale gave us a video to watch on Homeostasis.
this has actually happened in 1995 but i only knew about this like yesterday! okay so here's the story.

Leah Sarah Betts was a schoolgirl from Latchington, England. She is notable for the extensive media coverage and moral panic that followed her death several days after her 18th birthday, on November 11 1995, during which she took an ecstasy tablet, then collapsed four hours later into a coma, from which she did not recover. Subsequently, it was discovered that the direct cause of her death was water intoxication.

... such a bizarre thing, drinking water might not always be a good thing, if you have not known yet...
and to die at such a young age... :s so yeah, i just wanted to inform you guys, ecstasy is only a temporary happiness...
i really want to post the photo of her while she was in coma, but i decided not to... it's rather, scary :/

anyway happy saturday!

You say you gotta go and find yourself
You say that you're becoming someone else
Don't recognize the face in the mirror
Looking back at you

countingggggg

2009-05-28T19:54:00.004+08:00

Indonesia's Mother's day december 22nd? :) i was browsing through my photos and this looks pretty good :)

so now you ask what i have in mind,
i tell you i have too much that it's all going haywire...
first off, i am still indecisive if i should go to Swiss or the US for hotel management.
I mean many would answer US without even giving it a second thought because it's in the city and it would be better off if you're in a college with like many other people doing many other courses so you can mix around you know, but i mean Switzerland is known for their hotel management school, and even if i go US i wouldn't be able to go to like Cornell right :( so rather then ending up to a really shit university that randomly offers hotel management just so i can be in the city, i should just go to Swiss and like really excel in this major right?

see this is what's occupying 3/4 of my brain and it's not going to get off my mind if i don't make up my mind now, because as you would have known by now, application process to US universities is a really long and tedious process... having to take sats is already weighing me down.

secondly, i HATE, and i'm not even joking when i use a word with such bad connotation, it when's everything so unplanned and unorganized. i hate still having to leave a space in my mind that there's still something i have to worry about, i hate this feeling and i don't like this... oh well there's nothing much i can do. owning an indo passport is such a hassle :(

things are getting less busy i guess? well maybe not this weekend but if i can sleep at least 2 hours every afternoon, i guess i'm not all that busy afterall :)

i can't wait for holidays... not that anyone hasn't realized